Hi All,
Opie here! I have to take a bit of a low profile around the house. Mama’s a little annoyed with me. Michael and Gregory aren’t too thrilled with me either and I even managed to get on the wrong side of Dad.
What did I do?
Well… uh! It’s not really my fault. Somebody forgot to latch the screen. That’s the first thing that I’ll say about the incident.
This is me trying to keep a low profile
Additionally, in my defense it was NOT the usual person or the usual time.
And… (Oh… Mom says I should just get on with it.)
Well fellow doggers, I was being a vigilant Snorkie. I was on my bed minding my own business when that trespasser entered MY territory. He had the temerity to climb MY steps and come on to MY porch and try to slip things into MY mail slot. You know who I mean fellow doggers – the bane of all forthright canines – The Mail Carrier.
I warned him. I barked and barked out the window and then I ran to the front door. I gave him ample warning. He did not respect my position!
See! They even got me a uniform!
It’s not my fault that someone forgot to latch the screen.
I threw my 16 pound body at the screen door and it…. opened. Suddenly, I was staring at the intruder and there was nothing between him and me. I was just about to do what comes naturally when Gregory burst through the door commanding me to SIT! He startled me so much that I –well, I’m ashamed to say it – I ran. I ran down the driveway. But then Mama yelled my name and even though I only come when she calls about 60% of the time, this time I came right back to her. I was still a little scared. Gregory was still yelling at me to SIT. When I got to the porch steps I did just that, but did I get praise? … No, fellow doggers. I did not. I got picked up and given a time out in the back yard. Where is the fairness in that?
I could hear Mama asking the mail carrier if he was alright. I guess Gregory and I startled him a little bit. Mama apologized to him profusely — much to my disgust! Mama offered him water, ice water, juice or something stronger. (I don’t know what she meant by that.) She felt really sorry for him.
He wouldn’t take anything that Mama offered him. He said he was fine. Of course, he was fine – I never got to sink my teeth into him. Mama picked his bag up for him and handed it to him apologizing and offering him calming drinks all the while. He never really said anything to her, and then he continued to deliver the mail as if nothing had happened. When she came into the back yard she said that I was a very lucky dog. I don’t know why I’m so lucky. I think the mail carrier was lucky.
This is me being vigilant in my new uniform. I am so tough!
Now, I know how my friend Fergus felt when he bit that caterer setting up for his Mom and Dad’s wedding. Heinously unfair! Here we are doing our jobs – protecting our loved ones and we get into huge trouble!
I think my tail is now permanently tucked behind my legs. Gregory was so mad at me. Mama explained to me that little dogs like me with bad behavior can get a bad reputation and the postman might get mad and not deliver our mail anymore.
And that’s a bad thing? He doesn’t bring that much good stuff. Daddy gets grumpy when he gets mail, and Mom throws most of it into the recycling. It’s the UPS guy who always brings stuff that people want. Oh sorry, Mom wants me to shut up about that!
You’d think that was enough right – that mail carrier incident, but I seemed to be kind of Accident Prone that day!
Another Incident
I really put my nose in it…
As the evening went on, Mama and Daddy forgave me. Daddy said I was just being a dog and protecting the house. Gregory forgave me as well. Unfortunately, I put my foot or rather my nose in it again later in the evening.
It was 11PM and Dad suggested that I could go outside one more time before lights out. I went out did my usual run, but I don’t know why I did it. I decided to rub my face in some of my old poop. When Mama let me back in, she didn’t notice. She was sitting on the bed and I jumped up and got a head scratch. I walked around a little, and I might have rolled around a bit on Mama’s bed.
They let me roll around in the bed because I’m so darn cute!
Then I went to see Daddy who was trying to find a good movie to watch. He’s the one that spotted it.
I had a bunch of poop
stuck on my snout hair. It was stuck well too!
Mama had to give me face shampoo. She was not happy. She was even more unhappy while checking the covers for any little poop crumbs I might have left. When I did my puppy rolls in the bed. Oopsy!
Evidently, this was not a good end to the day for Mama.
It wasn’t so hot for me either.
Now of course I’m in the “dog house.”
They all watch me like a hawk now. And Mama’s trying to find me an earlier scheduled obedience class.
Now this picture is posted over my bed! (Yeah, like I can read it! )
Well Fellow Doggers! I have really put my nose in it this time.
Mama is fully committed to this school thing, and I’m on lock down in the backyard during the hours that the mail carriers come.
Mama said something about making them forget we even have a dog!
Wish me luck as this new regime starts up.
Sniffs and Licks,
Opie
Prisoner #5
