The Species Gap – or Human – Snorkie Communications Failure

Hello Fellow Doggers,

I hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving. I did. I had kibble with rice AND turkey. It was delicious. I’m licking my chops just remembering it. I can’t wait for the next Holiday feast coming our way.

However, I’m not going to be talking about that in today’s blog post. Today I’d like to talk about the Species Gap and the problems of communication between Snorkie and Human.

Mom will tell you that it’s a matter of my “crying wolf”. First of all, I object to that politically incorrect term. It is offensive to wolves everywhere. As a direct descendant of that noble breed I am deeply offended. But I digress.

Here’s the issue.

Evidently, my late night barking and trying to go to the back yard between 3 and 5 AM in the morning has been interpreted as some pointless “baying” at the opossums and raccoons that traverse our yard at night. I am inexplicably not allowed to go out between those hours to show these trespassers who is top dog.

However, last night was an entirely different situation. Not only was there a trespasser in the yard, but… more importantly, fellow doggers, I had to empty my bladder.

So, at 4 AM as I barked and whined and scratched to go outside and I heard Mom and Dad mutter “critters in the yard, I guess” and then go back to snoring. I kept this whining and snuffling at the back door going for a good half hour, but then, I am ashamed to admit. I did what I had to do. Yes, fellow doggers. I peed in the laundry room in front of the back door. I knew it was wrong when I did it but what’s a Snorkie to do? I was about to explode. I had done my “dogful” best to communicate my need to Mom and Dad, but they completely misinterpreted my cries of urgency.

I put it to you fellow doggers. Was this my fault?

To be fair, mom was not mad at me in the morning. I think she was mad at Dad because he did not let me out before coming to bed that evening. Mom went to bed early – around 9PM and Dad didn’t come until much later. Very gently, she suggested that the last person to bed should make certain that a certain Snorkie has had a late night potty run. I couldn’t agree more.

However, the deeper problem is our Human-Snorkie Communication failure.

It worries me fellow doggers. How do I educate my mom on the various nuances of our doggy lingo?

How will she learn that snuffle whine, whine means “Dear Mater and/or Pater, please let me outside. There’s a possum that I need to behead with my teeth.”

And that snuffle, whine, whine, yip means, “My back teeth are floating. Kindly, allow me outside to urinate, please. “

It’s a dilemma.

I urge all scientists out there to come up with a solution.

Clearly, technology can solve this grave problem.

(Can’t we have an “App” for this?)

So,

Dear Brilliant Scientists,

Please Solve the Snorkie-Human communication gap.

The floor you save may be your own.

Peace Out,

Opie, The Misunderstood Snorkie

A Snorkie’s Thanksgiving Day Poem

By Opie, Snorkie Laureate of the house

The scents of autumn fill the air,

My nose is twitching for my share

Of delicious things that Mama makes-

Savory meats, veggies, tasty cakes.

It is that special time of year

When doggies all should stay quite near

When Mama or Daddy calls you close

Even if it is to give a dose

Of medicine for an itchy spot,

Or brush out the hairs that made a knot

Because after”Good Boy” will soon follow

Lovely things dogs love to swallow.

But I digress about the food

It puts me in such a mood

To recount the things for which I’m grateful.

So here we go … I have a plateful.

I give thanks for my family dear

Without whom I’d be prone to tear

And Sad, lonely — hungry too.

Thank you all for my rescue.

I am thankful also for all those folks

Who tire themselves trying to coax

Others to give deep and well

So other fur friend sadness they can quell,

And all the doggies and cats and things

Can find joy of home that parents bring

To loving pets who nuzzle and lick.

(Yes, I’m grateful as well, that I’m not sick.)

So, good home, good health and love are what I’m grateful for

And if I’d more time, I’d write some more,

But Happy Thanksgiving my Fur Friends.

Go eat some Turkey! This is the end!

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

 

Just say NO to HOME IMPROVEMENTS!

A Snorkie’s Rant!

Hi Fellow Doggers,

I have a bone to pick with my family! I don’t know what happened, but suddenly they’ve decided to embark on all these “home improvements.”

I know, you’re thinking, “Home improvements? What’s wrong with that?”

Well, keep reading and I’ll tell you.

Every one of these home improvements has led to some discomfort for me. AND I DON’T LIKE DISCOMFORT OF ANY SORT!

Let’s take home improvement #1 – The new roof

Back in September, my mom and dad decided that we needed a new roof on the house. Personally, I thought it was neat to find little pieces of wood shingles in the grass after a mild wind storm. More sticks for me to bury.

Mom figured that I might object to guys tramping around on the roof, tearing it off, hammering and climbing on ladders.

She thought I might not take well to that. So, off I went to the kennel.

If you’ve read any of my previous blog posts, you know that that was not a good thing for me.

My Bordadella shot didn’t work as well as it should have and I caught “Kennel Cough.” That was such a drag!

I had this nagging cough and I didn’t feel so hot. The up side was that I did have a lot of “Magic Cheese” for about 14 days. I also was “unenrolled” from my Obedience classes due to my contagious state.

I was really looking forward to getting my diploma.

I also picked up a rather itchy rash. Mom doesn’t think I got it at the kennel, but I’m pushing for a complete moratorium on doggy day cares so I’ll swear on a stack of “Dog Whisperers” that I caught it there. The rash necessitated another 14 days of “Magic Cheese”.

As you can see fellow doggers, if Mom and Dad had not fixed the roof, I would not have gone to doggy day care and ergo would not have contracted Kennel Cough! This in and of itself is sufficient evidence that home improvement is bad news for this Snorkie.

But there is more evidence to support my contention!

Home Improvement #2 – Painting the House

With the new roof it seemed only natural for mom and Dad to want to paint the house. Now personally, I thought the house was a becoming shade of “beigeish,” pinkish, grayish color. (Mom is reminding me that I’m color blind and should stop complaining.)

Well, fellow doggers, I thought that I had dodged the proverbial doggy day care bullet because I had such a short bout of wellness after my kennel cough. Remember after my kennel cough I got sick AGAIN. I had some mysterious stomach upset. I had hoped that Mom would have taken my illness into account and postponed the painting of the house, but no.

She muttered some folderol about getting the house painted by Thanksgiving. Anyway, there I was recuperating from the last bout of illness and here come these guys. They were scraping at the walls, the windows, sanding.

Worst of all, I was not allowed outside to bite them, and fellow doggers, they needed biting – especially the guy who was scraping paint off the front window – MY WINDOW!

Now I know you are as outraged as I am about the assault on MY WINDOW! However, this home improvement was even more horrific.

Just because I was running from room to room, barking my head off, scratching the shutters, trying to jump out the back door – generally showing those TRESPASSING PAINTERS WHO IS BOSS – I got….

CRATED!!!

Now you must understand, I know how to “go to crate” Mama trained me with duck sticks and other tasty treats to go there whenever she says to go. (Crate Training Blog Posts.)But guys, she hardly ever tells me to go to crate! I can stay at home alone uncrated. I use my crate primarily as a goodie stash! I don’t stay inside very long. I might have a nap in there if the boys are playing a loud video game but generally, I don’t hang out there.

I prefer a nice soft lap.

Mama moved my crate AWAY from MY Window and pulled it in the middle of the room behind the chair and covered up the side that faced the window with my doggy blanket. Occasionally, she let me out when the painters were working on other side of the house, but when they were on MY SIDE OF THE HOUSE. I got CRATED!!!

Do you now see why home improvements are NOT
a friend to dogs? I couldn’t care less that the house is now a deep golden color or that the old paint peeled double hung windows are now all crisp and white!

I’M COLOR BLIND!

Home improvement is not my friend and certainly not a friend to any dog that I can think of!

So let’s sum up.

Home improvements caused me to contract kennel cough, a rash and be crated IN MY OWN HOUSE!!!

I appeal to you fellow doggers

Tell your Mamas and Daddys to eschew Home Improvement!

Be content with your dilapidated roof, your ugly house color, your squeaky floor boards, your leaky bathtubs!

Keep doggies in the house!

Keep workmen OUT!!!

If that doesn’t work, point out that vet bills totally blow!

This has been another Snorkie rant!

Peace Out!

Opie

TRESPASSER!!!!!!!!

 

Fellow Doggers,

At 2AM this morning, my back yard was BREACHED by a TRESPASSER!!

Of course, I raised the alarm. Allowed my fury to fly free in the face of this OUTRAGE!

But…

I was not allowed outside to teach this TRESPASSER A LESSON!

Join me fellow doggers and sign my petition (in your comments) to stamp out the

OPPOSSUM MENACE!!!

They are worse than the squirrels, fellow doggers.

They sneak into your yard in the dead of night to do who knows what. They trip the security lights. You bark your warnings to them. They tramp all over YOUR TERRITORY. WALK ON YOUR GRASS! CRAWL THROUGH YOUR BUSHES! SO…You try “dogfully” to get outside and do your duty toward your territory and you know what happens….

YOU GET THE SQUIRT BOTTLE!

 

Join me fellow doggers!

SAY NO TO THE OPPOSSUM!

THEY MUST GO!!!

STAMP OUT THIS OVERSIZED RAT TAILED CRITTER!

It is for the good of all

THEY ARE NOT CUTE!!!!!

 

Peace out!

Opie

I’ve been sick…. :( But now I’m all better!

Or Keep your Paws Crossed!

Hi All,

Both Mama and I have been under the weather. (Although, honestly, I’ve been sicker than Mama.) It all started with the roof!

Mama and Daddy had the roof re-done and I had to go to the doggy day care so I wouldn’t bark myself silly at all those strange guys on our roof hammering and making noise.

I went there just for the day for 4 days and one day extra when the roofers took an unscheduled holiday without telling Mama.

Now, you know I’ve got all my shots, but here’s something I’ll bet you didn’t know.

That Bordatella shot – which is supposed to be good for Kennel Cough – doesn’t always work.

Yes, you guessed it. I got kennel cough. And because of that I couldn’t do my obedience classes — Something about me being contagious.

I was fine with that. I had a irritating cough, but I also got a lot of magic cheese too (Note from Mama – antibiotic in stuffed into a piece of cheese!)

One other thing though – Mama caught me scooting just before she took me to the vet, and it seemed like I had caught something else too.

The vet said I had Giardia. Mama blames herself for that. She forgot my special water bowl when we went to the dog park the week before, and I drank out of the community bowl – the one everyone pees in. Oopsie! (Note to self – don’t drink out of pee bowl at dog park ever again!)

Anyway, the worst part of the Giardia thing me was the Vet’s examination. Let’s just say I feel for those alien abductees. Being probed is NOT fun!

The up side of all this was that I had to eat all of my food because Mama had sprinkled some magic powder on it to get rid of my pesky parasites. To make certain that I ate every bite, she broiled me some hamburgers mixed it in with my kibble. Boy Howdy… delicious. I licked the bowl clean!

I finished all my magic cheese and magic powder and for 2 weeks I was seemingly illness free.

Unfortunately, Mama wasn’t doing so hot. She was running back and forth to the doctor and getting referrals and lots of bottles and pills and things for herself.

I could tell she was stressed out. I sat with her while she read all those pharmacy drug interaction pages and did a little freaking out. It felt good to be such a comfort to her.

Then last Sunday, before Halloween, I don’t know what happened.

Something made my tummy feel funny. I started throwing up EVERYWHERE and yes, I threw up in Mama’s bed. I threw up about 5 times on one day. I felt rotten but I thought maybe it was out of my system whatever it was. Sure enough on Monday I felt lots better.

I even got to put on a Halloween costume.

I’m a dinosaur.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know it might look like the dinosaur is eating me, but I assure you I am the one wearing the costume.

 

However, on Tuesday, I don’t know what happened again. I barfed again in Mama’s bed in the morning. This time Mama called the vet and got me a vet appointment. This was hard because Mama had doctor’s appointments too. In fact, Mama’s appointment took so long that Daddy had to take me to the vet that afternoon. Mama showed up later and Dad ran off to pick up my hubrother from football practice. I should mention that I hadn’t eaten anything all day long. Even though, there was food for me.

The vet thought I had a blockage in my intestines caused by a foreign body– Mama looked at me and said, “Opie, what did you eat?”

“I didn’t eat anything I shouldn’t have – I swear on my doggy honor. ” I responded. (I may have had my paws crossed on this one. What Mama doesn’t know won’t hurt her. )

Then the doctor took me for an x-ray. I didn’t like it. I had to have a muzzle and the vet technician is a bearded guy and I don’t like bearded guys at all. I growled at him. Of course, I wasn’t feeling so hot either.

They couldn’t see everything on the x-ray so Mama had to bring me back the next day. But before I left for the day, they gave me some medicine and a funny shot that made my back all puffy. Mama says they gave me fluid and some anti gas medicine so that the gas that was blocking their view of my duodenum would dissipate.

I wasn’t allowed to eat anything all day or before x-ray. The next day Mama had to leave me at the vet for most of the day so they could do their tests on me.

The Vet gave me some nasty Barium stuff to drink. She shoved it in my mouth with a syringe – nasty, nasty!

Then after a few hours they took more x-rays.

I had to wait around a long time between x-rays so they could see what was going on inside me.

Turns out I DIDN’T have a blockage.

They decided that I had gastroenteritis – that’s fancy talk for tummy ache or inflammation of the stomach.     

I was so glad when Mama came to get me. She made me a special dinner that ALMOST made all those vet outrages worth it.

Boiled chicken and rice! Oh My Dog – it’s so yummy you wouldn’t believe it. The only problem is she gives me tiny little amounts, but I get them about 4 times a day! I can’t wait until the next one. I’m licking my bowl clean every time. I also get a special rice chicken ball near the end of the day. (½ tablet of Pepcid AC or Acid Controller ( Famotidine 10 mg) – yes the same stuff we all take for heartburn)

I am feeling much better now.

Mama’s feeling better too and has taken me on some nice long walks lately.

Mama says I’m not allowed to get sick again and that I’ve used up my quota of vet visits.

Okay, Mama – I’ll be good! ( or I will try my best – Snorkie’s Honor!)

Well fellow doggers let’s keep our paws crossed!

Barks and Licks,

Your Pal Opie

 

Note from Mama:

Total vet cost of Opie’s barfing and belly ache.

$700 + over 2 days

(Not including previous Kennel Cough and Giardia incident)

I will be researching doggy health insurance in the very, very near future!

My Obedience School Evaluation – How I did!

Hi All,

You know that Mama was completely committed to sending me to Obedience School after all my bad behavior. Well, I went for my school evaluation on Wednesday. The trainers had to determine whether I’d be better in a group class or in private lessons.

Mama was keeping her fingers crossed for a group class. The prices were listed on the website for group classes but not for the private lessons. Mama says that if a site won’t say how much it is over the internet, then it’s probably a scary price. She gave me a little walk before we went to calm me down. She wanted me to be at my best. I don’t know what she was so nervous about. I ACED the evaluation.

Chris greeted us when we got to the school. He was kind of nice. I was a little bit scared of him so I barked at him a little bit. He backed off and went into a big room ahead of me. We went in there and he threw me a treat. Hmmm! Tasty! He kept throwing them near me and eventually I got a little closer and took them from his hand. He was steady talking to Mama the whole time, not paying me much attention. The room was really interesting.

This school had all kinds of neat stuff for a dog to sniff. There was this big roof thing that I could climb on. Once I got to the top I was nose to nose with Mama. I liked that a lot. Mama says they do something called “agility training” at the school too.

Obviously, this isn’t me, but it could be.

She said that if I get my good doggy citizen certificate that she might spring for some agility training.

I don’t really know what that is, but if it involves getting to climb on that roof and other cool stuff, then I might like it.

I am visualizing my success.

Eventually, Kris started having me do things for my treat. I had to touch his hand with my nose while he gave me a treat in the other hand. He did this a lot. He told Mama that it was to get me accustomed to seeing a hand coming toward me and not to be scared. He seems to think that most of my barking has to do with fear.

Yeah, I agree – I’m trying to put a good SCARE into people so they don’t eat me my mom.

Remember I’m a security dog!

The treats were really good, and I started doing all sorts of things for him. I sat every time he asked me to. Mama decided to show me off. I settled and rolled over for her and she didn’t give me anything other than love!

This Kris dude is pretty smart! He immediately suggested that I might need to be in Obedience II class, the more advanced class, rather than Obedience I.

See how smart I look!

Well, of course I’m advanced. And he’s very bright to notice! I think we’ll get along just fine!

Mama wants me to be in the first basic class, though. She thinks I might have gaps in my knowledge.

So, as you can see I passed my evaluation with flying colors!

I am going to the group class.

Yippee! Well, Yippee for passing, I’m still not so sure I’ll like this class, but if it involves lots of treats and climbing on the roof thing then I might be able to stand it. Mama says we start October 15 so you’ll be seeing a lot of blog posts about my training during October and November.

My eye lids are so, so heavy! I have to go take a nap now fellow bloggers. I’m all tuckered out from my visit to school.

Mama seems very pleased with me and I know that’s a good thing. My belly is nice and full of treats too. This could be a win-win for all of us.

My eyes are closing now…

Smell you later,

Your Pal,

Opie

Wordless Wednesday – The Sleep of the Innocent? Or the Consciousless? Your Choice!

After a Hard Night of Barking at Shadows…

 

ZZZZZZZZZZ!

 

ZZZZZZZZZ!

 

HMMMMMMMMMM! ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

 

MMMMMMMMM! ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

I’m in the “Dog House” or How I Really Stuck my Nose in it!

Hi All,

 

Opie here! I have to take a bit of a low profile around the house. Mama’s a little annoyed with me. Michael and Gregory aren’t too thrilled with me either and I even managed to get on the wrong side of Dad.

What did I do?

Well… uh! It’s not really my fault. Somebody forgot to latch the screen. That’s the first thing that I’ll say about the incident.

This is me trying to keep a low profile

 

Additionally, in my defense it was NOT the usual person or the usual time.

And… (Oh… Mom says I should just get on with it.)

Well fellow doggers, I was being a vigilant Snorkie. I was on my bed minding my own business when that trespasser entered MY territory. He had the temerity to climb MY steps and come on to MY porch and try to slip things into MY mail slot. You know who I mean fellow doggers – the bane of all forthright canines – The Mail Carrier.

I warned him. I barked and barked out the window and then I ran to the front door. I gave him ample warning. He did not respect my position!

See! They even got me a uniform!

It’s not my fault that someone forgot to latch the screen.

I threw my 16 pound body at the screen door and it…. opened. Suddenly, I was staring at the intruder and there was nothing between him and me. I was just about to do what comes naturally when Gregory burst through the door commanding me to SIT! He startled me so much that I –well, I’m ashamed to say it – I ran. I ran down the driveway. But then Mama yelled my name and even though I only come when she calls about 60% of the time, this time I came right back to her. I was still a little scared. Gregory was still yelling at me to SIT. When I got to the porch steps I did just that, but did I get praise? … No, fellow doggers. I did not. I got picked up and given a time out in the back yard. Where is the fairness in that?

I could hear Mama asking the mail carrier if he was alright. I guess Gregory and I startled him a little bit. Mama apologized to him profusely — much to my disgust! Mama offered him water, ice water, juice or something stronger. (I don’t know what she meant by that.) She felt really sorry for him.

He wouldn’t take anything that Mama offered him. He said he was fine. Of course, he was fine – I never got to sink my teeth into him. Mama picked his bag up for him and handed it to him apologizing and offering him calming drinks all the while. He never really said anything to her, and then he continued to deliver the mail as if nothing had happened. When she came into the back yard she said that I was a very lucky dog. I don’t know why I’m so lucky. I think the mail carrier was lucky.

This is me being vigilant in my new uniform. I am so tough!

 

Now, I know how my friend Fergus felt when he bit that caterer setting up for his Mom and Dad’s wedding. Heinously unfair! Here we are doing our jobs – protecting our loved ones and we get into huge trouble!

I think my tail is now permanently tucked behind my legs. Gregory was so mad at me. Mama explained to me that little dogs like me with bad behavior can get a bad reputation and the postman might get mad and not deliver our mail anymore.

And that’s a bad thing? He doesn’t bring that much good stuff. Daddy gets grumpy when he gets mail, and Mom throws most of it into the recycling. It’s the UPS guy  who always brings stuff that people want. Oh sorry, Mom wants me to shut up about that!

You’d think that was enough right – that mail carrier incident, but I seemed to be kind of Accident Prone that day!

Another Incident

I really put my nose in it…

As the evening went on, Mama and Daddy forgave me. Daddy said I was just being a dog and protecting the house. Gregory forgave me as well. Unfortunately, I put my foot or rather my nose in it again later in the evening.

It was 11PM and Dad suggested that I could go outside one more time before lights out. I went out did my usual run, but I don’t know why I did it. I decided to rub my face in some of my old poop. When Mama let me back in, she didn’t notice. She was sitting on the bed and I jumped up and got a head scratch. I walked around a little, and I might have rolled around a bit on Mama’s bed.

They let me roll around in the bed because I’m so darn cute!

 

Then I went to see Daddy who was trying to find a good movie to watch. He’s the one that spotted it.

I had a bunch of poop
stuck on my snout hair. It was stuck well too!

Mama had to give me face shampoo. She was not happy. She was even more unhappy while checking the covers for any little poop crumbs I might have left. When I did my puppy rolls in the bed. Oopsy!

Evidently, this was not a good end to the day for Mama.

It wasn’t so hot for me either.

Now of course I’m in the “dog house.”

They all watch me like a hawk now. And Mama’s trying to find me an earlier scheduled obedience class.

Now this picture is posted over my bed! (Yeah, like I can read it! )

 

Well Fellow Doggers! I have really put my nose in it this time.

Mama is fully committed to this school thing, and I’m on lock down in the backyard during the hours that the mail carriers come.

Mama said something about making them forget we even have a dog!

Wish me luck as this new regime starts up.

Sniffs and Licks,

Opie

Prisoner #5

Opie’s Favorite September 11th Poem

Hi all,

Opie here!

I wasn’t even born when the big tragedy happened. My hu-brother Michael wasn’t either. My Gregory was only 3 years old.

Mama watched a few tributes, but they were too sad.

However, Mama read me this poem that a lady read at her old high school.

We thought it would be a good thing to share with you all.

It’s not about dogs, but it could be.

It’s not about 9/11 but it could be

It’s about life and how to live it when bad things happen.

I think it’s pretty cool.

It’s by a really nice lady named Mother Theresa. I think I would have liked her.

Here it is.

Anyway

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;

Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;

Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;

Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;

Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;

Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;

Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;

Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;

Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your Spirit;

It was never between you and them anyway.

- Mother Theresa

Just when you think you’re in the clear…. BAM!

Or

Saved by Magical Cheese

Hi All,

I was looking forward to a nice uneventful few final days of the boys’ summer vacation. No more trips! No more Doggy Jail Central! No more haircuts! I should have known it was too good to be true.

I don’t know what the big deal was about really. I had an itch on my belly area and so I licked it. It itched a little more, so I licked it again and maybe a few more times after that.

The next thing I knew, Mama was turning me over on my belly and looking at my tummy OVER her glasses. (She always does that when she really wants to see something) I’m thinking….Come on Ma… give a Pup a little privacy!

She yelled to my Dad, “Opie’s got a rash!”

Now, the whole family was looking at my belly. Looking — not rubbing, looking! I don’t mind exposing my belly as long as I get a good scratch. And my belly was really, really itchy.

(This picture is actually of his rash AFTER he’s had his medication. It looked much angrier than this, but we were all too grossed out to take a photo)

Mama went to the pet store and came back with some “Hot Spot” spray. I hate anything in a spray bottle so I did what comes naturally. I hid under the coffee table. Of course, this was only a moderately effective hiding place. They sprayed me. I’ll admit this stuff relieved my itch for about 2 minutes. They tried to keep me drenched in this stuff most of the day. It was about as effective as my hiding place. I was itchy AND wet all day. Misery!

Of course, I continued to lick and now everyone kept trying to stop me. Michael grabbed my snout and pulled it out from under my hind leg. Dad even got in the act. He scratched my head and behind my ears until I was almost unconscious. Gregory tried teasing me with my favorite snake toy. It looked like it might be a lot of fun, but my itch kept urging me to stop and lick. It started to get really annoying. I discovered that my eye itched too. I started rubbing my face on the carpet and doing my “grass break dancing”. Usually, I do my “grass break dancing” outside on the grass in some odorous patch of earth. This time I needed to wiggle and scratch on the carpet which only smells like that vacuum cleaner monster.

While I was trying to wiggle my way to some relief, Mama was looking at me with a huge frown on her face. The next thing I knew she had her phone out texting. Mom never texts! She put the phone down and in about 2 minutes the phone rang. She read the text, texted something back and yelled, “I’m going to the drug store for some Children’s ‘Benny Drill’ ” I wondered who “Benny Drill” was.

It turns out she texted her sister-in-law who has a little dog who weighs even less than I do and flies all over the country. Mom was asking about the proper dosage for this “Benny Drill.”

(Yes, I know there’s been a recall of this product, but the manufacturer says it was not recalled due to any toxicity issue. Besides, this is a box we’d been using since the beginning of the summer with no ill effects)

A few hours later Mom came into the house with all sorts of stuff. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a whole bunch of cheese sticks.

I didn’t see this “Benny Drill” person. This was good, because I was a little too busy licking to give him a proper barking welcome!

I know what you’re thinking fellow doggers. You’re thinking that this is one of those itchy stories where I talk about how bad my itch was. Well it was bad, but there’s a happy ending. It ends with the most wonderful thing a dog can want (besides your own personal infinite supply of T-bone steaks!)

What could it be? You ask?

Cheese, fellow doggers!

Cheese – Wonderful – Cheese!

The cheesiest loveliest cheese!

And I’m going to take a risk and say it –

MAGIC CHEESE!

Laugh if you want to, but that cheese cured my itch. Mama gave me a really nice big cheese ball. Oh, it was so delicious I started to forget about my itch. In fact, after awhile, I stopped itching at all! I was a little drowsy, but hey it’s my job to nap! I take it very seriously!

Every once and a while the itch would come back, but Mama seemed to know when it would happen. She had a cheese treat all ready for me just as my belly started to heat up again.

Doggers, the cure for my itch was this wonderful MAGIC CHEESE!

My cheese treats and the itch continued from Saturday and all day Sunday. I was actually starting to like my itch! I NEVER get cheese!

However, today, I went to the vet. I don’t know why. The Cheese was doing a heck of a job! While we were there, I could feel my itch starting up again, but I hadn’t had my cheese treat for the day. I sniffed Mama’s purse. It was starting to get really bad. I gave her “The Look”. She just petted me on the head. I was just about to start licking when the vet nurse told us to go back to the examination room.

The lady we saw wasn’t my usual vet, but she was very nice. She had a nice soft voice like mama and she seemed to really love me instantly. We doggers can tell. She was so nice to me that I’m a little embarrassed by that initial growl I gave her. She never stuck me with a needle although she did stick a thermometer up my butt. But she was so fast I hardly noticed. We were in there just little while. She gave Mama a lot of bottles and then we went home. I was hoping the doctor might have some cheese for me, but they only had little bone treats. Tasty, but they did NOTHING for my itch. I would have licked myself all the way home, but Mama distracted me with the window. I stuck my head out the window and almost forgot about my itch.

I was a really good boy at the vet. I didn’t bark at anyone, or pee on the floor or growl….much.

So guess what fellow doggers? When I got home, I got TWO cheese balls. Oh and they were just as delicious at the other cheese balls. I didn’t feel very drowsy, but my itch was a lot less than it was before. I didn’t feel like licking not licking. In fact I feel pretty good.

Well hopefully the itch won’t be coming back anytime soon. But I saw Mom in the kitchen cutting up cheese sticks. I think I’m going to be in CHEESE HEAVEN fellow doggers!

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Note from Opie’s Mom.

The Vet okayed a low dose of Benadryl to stop the itch until we could come in to the office. What she didn’t tell us, but we already know is that Childrens Benadryl has been recalled, but it was a voluntary recall. Johnson and Johnson says that the medicine is still safe. We also know that too much Benadryl can stop a dog’s heart. I decided to err on the side of caution gave Opie ¼ of a tablet. He only weighs 16 pounds. It seemed to work well, but we didn’t want to keep doing this. The Benadryl has been stopped, and he’s now on his prescription medication.

Opie has Pyoderma, which is really a general fancy term for a skin infection caused by flea bites, an allergy or other underlying cause. We don’t have any idea yet what has caused what must be an allergic reaction. Opie doesn’t have any fleas. He’s been on Revolution, and it works very well for him. Both the vet and I combed his fur looking for the evil little monsters. The Vet suspects that something harmful is blooming in my yard. That’s possible. However, I suspect the wet version of his dog food that we started him on a few weeks ago, or maybe he’s allergic to greenies. We’re stopping the wet food. I looked up Pyoderma on the internet and it WILL recur if we don’t find out what’s giving him the reaction. Opie will just have to make do with boiled chicken breast mixed with his kibble. Poor little hound dog.

In the mean time just for fun… here’s Opie’s “Cheese Schedule” We’ve posted it so that his feather brained parents can keep track of his medication.

He’s had his first doses as you can see. He’s already feeling better and he hasn’t licked his belly once since we gave him his “Magic Cheese” If those reading have any ideas about what might be the culprit, feel free to post your ideas. We’re feeling optimistic that we can make Opie a lot more comfortable, but we’d like to know what’s causing the problem in the first place. It might be plant life. There were three dogs and their mamas in the waiting room at the vet – all with mysterious belly rashes. We all got the same medicine — Antibiotic for the infection and Prednisone for the itch, and we all live in the same area. Opie also managed to give himself a little pink eye type thing, so he’s got antibiotic drops for a gooey left eye.

 

Opie’s “Magic Cheese” Schedule