At NASA they say that “Failure is not an option!” I am ashamed to say that I have failed in my mission. They say confession is good for the soul. So I am going to unburden myself to you now. I shall now tell you of the ill fated Pumpkin Pie Raid.
It was a rainy day in Southern California. I was sleeping in my crate, oblivious to the ill fated idea that was about to pop into my head. Mama and Daddy were working at their computers. I had had a great day so far. The rain ended early and I got a good walk and ran into one my neighborhood buddies. We’d had a good time trying to tie Mama up with the leash. We play wrestled! It was a good day. I was a little tired from my walk and fun. My tummy was full of Innova Kibble drizzled with pot roast gravy. Then I smelled it – a heavenly aroma. It was in the kitchen where most heavenly aromas reside. It was pumpkin pie!
It looked just like this, but without the whipped cream. Mama was sitting at her computer desk and it was behind her on the kitchen counter.
Suddenly, I heard a crash. The pull out drawer that her keyboard sits on had come off its track and fallen to the floor. A bunch of other stuff fell on the floor as well. I was now wide awake, alert and I could feel my wolf instincts stirring. Opportunity was about to knock and I was ready to let it in and lick it’s face!
Mama pushed her chair back and picked up all the stuff that had fallen on the floor. Dad called out that it was time to pick the boys up from school. She pushed her chair further back until the end of it touched the kitchen counter and went to get her coat. She patted my head as she went out the door. Dad remained in his office. I could hear him tapping away on his keyboard.
Now was my chance. I heard mom’s car drive off. It would be a while before she came back with the boys. And Dad, well when he’s in his office, he might as well be on the moon! Mission Go!
I padded quietly into the kitchen. I could smell the pie on the counter. The chair was placed perfectly. I hopped up into the chair.
I could see not only the Pumpkin pie, but A CHERRY PIE AS WELL! OH MY DOG!
Here is where I failed in my mission. I lost my head. Two Pies! Two Pies mouth level! Two delicious pies! I think I got dizzy.
I jumped onto the counter, but somehow I misjudged the distance. I put my paw right in the center of the pumpkin pie and …. SLID. The pie flew off the counter and hit the kitchen floor with a clatter and a splat. The pie server bounced off my back and scooted under Mama’s desk. Pumpkin pie filling went everywhere, on the bottom cabinets, on the floor. Needless to say, I lost my balance, too and hit the ground with a very large boom!
“What the…?” I could hear dad moving quickly toward the kitchen. I beat it into my crate and frantically licked the pie filling off my paw. He passed right by me.
How he knew that it was me is still a mystery to me. I licked all the pumpkin off my paw. I was nowhere near the kitchen when he came in. However, somehow he knew. Was there a doggy cam?
He closed the crate door. Sadly, I watched him clean up all of that lovely pie filling. He scrubbed the floor and the cabinet doors. He sprayed that noxious stuff, Cinch, on the floor and wiped it all up. My poor pie. (Whine.)
When he finished erasing all traces of my failure, he let me out of the crate, but I didn’t have the heart to leave it.
Mission failure. Only one paw of pumpkin pie, no taste of cherry at all.
Worse yet… he told Mama what I had done. She shook her finger at me when she got home. (Whine!)
But I could tell she still loves me. So does dad. He went out later and bought another pie.
Mama gave me some crust and filling when nobody was looking.
Now, if I can just have some of that cherry pie. I’ve got a schematic of the refrigerator in my crate. The pies now reside in the refrigerator. Michael frequently leaves the door open…. Hmmmm.
Do you think I have a chance?
This dog could be me and if my plan is a success… it could be you as well! Wish me luck!