Or The Village of Opie
In the past I’ve had a bad habit of rolling in cat poo in our backyard. This has earned me several impromptu baths. I am happy to say that I’ve fallen out of love with that particular habit. I’ve learned my lesson. Look at my photo. Do I look happy? If there is any doubt let me just say this. NOT HAPPY!
Unfortunately, I have to suffer a new indignity. Rigorous Brushing after every backyard trip.
Let me explain. It all began when Gregory spotted this beetle crawling out of my hair and in between my eyes. There was some screaming and the next thing I knew someone was jamming a doggy wipe into my face and the grooming brush was coming toward my head. Then there was the time this huge spider decided to debark from me inside the house over the top of somebody’s foot. There was much screaming, again. Then of course there is the occasional ant that decides to peer out from between my beautiful white locks and say, “How, ya doin’?”
Look, when I go into the backyard I have to do a full sweep of the area for obnoxious trespassing rodents. Squirrels do occasionally come down out of their trees. I am a natural tracker. Sometimes my investigation takes me into the fern bed, the trumpet vines, the ivy, and the Nandina bushes. Sometimes the small inhabitants of this foliage decide to take a ride with me.
My mom is a pro animal kind of gal, but she draws the line at insects.
“Opie, as long as the bugs stay outside they are fine with me. Inside, it’s a different story entirely!”
She says this as she reigns death from above with her grooming brush and dry shampoo spray. Poor little ants, and beetles and baby spiders!
“Mama, I’m a village of small little six legged creatures. You should be more tolerant. They just hitched a ride. They’re like those little Whos in that story you read at Christmas.”
She, of course, ignores me and continues brushing and wiping. I already have to have drops on my back once a month for fleas. (I don’t mind that at all. I hate fleas) but ants…. Well they don’t bother me too much. They’re kind of cute. (Don’t tell anyone, but if you can get three in a row, they don’t taste too bad either. Shhh.)
Then Mama plays her trump card.
“Opie, you are the only one non- human creature allowed in our bed. If you want to sleep with us, the Whos gotta go.”
Michael chimes in, “Maybe we should rename him Horton.” Boy, did Michael get a look!
So I am getting brushed EVERYWHERE until Mama is satisfied that I’m clean.
To be fair, the most extensive brushing occurs after my last pee run. Also, to be fair, I like it when she does the area near my tail. It feels kind of soothing. Also, to be fair I have been known to drop off to sleep when she alternates the brushing with tummy rubbing.
I love sleeping with Mama and Daddy.
So long all you little 6 legged Whos!