As many of you know, my Mama and the boys are in Texas and a Texas dawg named Bogie usurped was invited to guest blog on MY BLOG!
I found it necessary to get on my doggie cell phone and talk to this Bogie person and find out the true scoop. What follows is a true transcript of our conversation. Bogie and I both have smart phones so some pictures were transmitted as well.
Opie: Hello, Bogie how are you doing?
Bogie: Well Hey Opie! Just fine, well not really, I’m feeling a little poorly. My glucose levels are kind of crazy right now and I have my ups and my downs. I wanted to thank you for loaning me the boys for a few days. That made me feel real good. You’re a true friend buddy.
Bogie in repose
Opie: Uh, er, of course well feel free… ah…. Anytime Bogie!
Me hanging my head in shame
Bogie: I’ve been meaning to ask you, Opie… where did you get your name?
Opie: Oh, I’m named after some kid on a TV show — Opie Taylor.
Bogie: Small world. I’m named after some famous actor — Humphrey Bogart. They used to call him Bogie. Of course, I have to be honest, sometimes my name gets changed. My Daddy will sometimes call me Booger!
Opie: That’s pretty funny!
Bogie: Yeah, It’s funny for about 5 minutes and then it’s old. Humans, I tell you! The silliest stuff makes them laugh. What’s funny to me is that they think that we’re their pets. I think it’s the other way around. Afterall, I don’t pick up their human patties, but they pick up my doggy patties.
Opie: Ha! You got that right! You don’t see me picking up my hu-brothers poop. WORD!
Bogie: Your Mama took some nice pictures of me. I like the picture taking, but my mama decided I needed my hair brushed. That was not fun.
Bogie after his ears were brushed!
Aren’t they fluffy?
Opie: Dude, tell me about it. I head for the hills when I see that grooming brush comes out. Do you have one of those sharp needley ones?
Me heading for the hills!
Bogie: Oh dog, yes Mama tries to be gentle, but I’d rather do anything than endure the hair pulling.
Opie: Why can’t they leave us alone? Why do we have to be clean?
Bogie: I know what you mean… Some gardeners came by the house the other day, and they brought all this nice smelly mulch. There it was a HUGE pile of it… It was so…. Fragrant!
Opie: Tell me more… don’t leave me hangin’ bro
Bogie: Well, I was all set to leap right into the middle of it and roll around and just luxuriate in that soft great smelling stuff and…
Opie: What happened, what happened?
Bogie: I leaped right dead in the middle of it and commenced to rolling and rubbing my back and head into the danged whole thing. It was wonderful. I pushed myself real deep into it so I could get the full effect. It was great! That there mulch was doggie ambrosia!
Opie: Oh that sounds totally awesome!…I wish I could have been there.
Bogie: There was enough for 3 or 4 dogs to have a fine old time! Unfortunately, the grooming van lady showed up pretty soon afterward and I lost all my beautiful smell. Dad Burn it!
Opie: Oh Infamous!
Bogie: You said a mouthful partner! I got washed brushed, clipped and snipped. I hate vans almost as much as I hate the mail carrier.
Opie: I know what you mean dude! Now, I hear you’ve been feeling under the weather. What’s up with that?
Bogie: Well, I am a diabetic. This means that my body does not process something called glucose well. If the levels are too low or too high then I feel kind of rotten. I don’t want to do anything but lie around, and I feel so tired I don’t want to chew a hedgehog. Worse — I have to have insulin shots every day and worse yet Mama or the vet has to stick me with sharp lancets to test my blood all the time. I really hate that. My Mama would love for someone to tell her a better way to test my blood than scraping it out of my ear. We are both kind of squeamish about that. Lately, I’ve had some trouble keeping my glucose levels right. My vet’s doing his darndest to help me out. My Mama says he’s the best, and he is a nice guy. I’d like him a dang site better without any sharp objects.
Bogie, he’s a little tuckered out.
Opie: This the same guy who recommended that I stay in my collar for 30 days?
Bogie: Well, yes. Sorry about that. If I’d been in the room, I’d a nipped him. Doggy brotherhood and all that! I’m sure he meant well though. He’s a pretty nice guy… for a vet. They’ve got treats at his clinic and they feed me when I’m getting my sugar tested. He can’t be all bad, right?
Opie: I reserve judgment. He is sticking you with needles and he made me wear this collar. He’s not batting a thousand with me, but if you like him I guess he’s okay. I sure hope you start to feel better soon. I’d love to come down to Texas and play some bitey face.
Bogie: Thanks for your warm wishes partner. There’s nothing better than a good game of bitey face. I play chase with my friend Coco the bagle ( Basset/Beagle) By the way, how’s your histio thingie?
Opie: Well, I’ve still got it, but it’s a lot smaller. I’m still in the collar of horror! But I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. My mama takes it off every once and a while to see if I can leave my thingie alone. To my shame I’ve failed the test every time. It really doesn’t itch, but I really want to lick it anyway. She won’t let me put my tongue anywhere near it. The collar is starting to look at little worse for wear too. There’s a little hole in it near the Velcro.
Me still in the collar of horror
Bogie: Well I’m guessin’ that eventually, that thing will just bust. Take it from me old son – you need to keep your tongue off your histio thingie WHEN SHE’S LOOKIN’!!! Try and hold off till she leaves the room or somethin’ Use you doggy brain, partner. Humans can’t hear or smell as well as we can. And even I’m a dang site faster than my Mama. You can hightail it under the bed and have a fine old time if you play your cards right!
Opie: Good advice Bogie. Bogie….
Opie: I have to admit something to you. .. I was a little jealous of you being a guest blogger and spending time with my Mama and boys in Texas. I was all prepared to snarl at you a little, but dude even over the phone you smell like a righteous dog to me. I apologize for my feelings of ill will.
Bogie: Think nothin’ of it partner. You’re a young dog yet and a rescue to boot, just like me.
I understand how it is.
We love our humans so much that sometimes we don’t want to share’ em with anybody. But you’re learning that those big lovin’ humans got room in their hearts for lots of dogs even if their houses and wallets don’t. The whole reason that we have’em is cuz they got hearts as big as Texas.
And Partner, that’s mighty big.
I can see that you are a worthy canine my friend.
I won’t hold it against you.
Opie: Dude, you rock!
Bogie: Yeah, well so do you Opie! Well, I hear the dinner gong in the kitchen. I think Mama has an egg for me tonight as well as my duck! Gotta scoot! I’ll talk to you again partner.
Opie: Nice talking to you, Bogie. Enjoy your dinner!
As you can see, Bogie is a Righteous Dawg!
Hopefully, we’re being seeing and hearing a bit more from him.
Bogie and Opie