The Species Gap – or Human – Snorkie Communications Failure

Hello Fellow Doggers,

I hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving. I did. I had kibble with rice AND turkey. It was delicious. I’m licking my chops just remembering it. I can’t wait for the next Holiday feast coming our way.

However, I’m not going to be talking about that in today’s blog post. Today I’d like to talk about the Species Gap and the problems of communication between Snorkie and Human.

Mom will tell you that it’s a matter of my “crying wolf”. First of all, I object to that politically incorrect term. It is offensive to wolves everywhere. As a direct descendant of that noble breed I am deeply offended. But I digress.

Here’s the issue.

Evidently, my late night barking and trying to go to the back yard between 3 and 5 AM in the morning has been interpreted as some pointless “baying” at the opossums and raccoons that traverse our yard at night. I am inexplicably not allowed to go out between those hours to show these trespassers who is top dog.

However, last night was an entirely different situation. Not only was there a trespasser in the yard, but… more importantly, fellow doggers, I had to empty my bladder.

So, at 4 AM as I barked and whined and scratched to go outside and I heard Mom and Dad mutter “critters in the yard, I guess” and then go back to snoring. I kept this whining and snuffling at the back door going for a good half hour, but then, I am ashamed to admit. I did what I had to do. Yes, fellow doggers. I peed in the laundry room in front of the back door. I knew it was wrong when I did it but what’s a Snorkie to do? I was about to explode. I had done my “dogful” best to communicate my need to Mom and Dad, but they completely misinterpreted my cries of urgency.

I put it to you fellow doggers. Was this my fault?

To be fair, mom was not mad at me in the morning. I think she was mad at Dad because he did not let me out before coming to bed that evening. Mom went to bed early – around 9PM and Dad didn’t come until much later. Very gently, she suggested that the last person to bed should make certain that a certain Snorkie has had a late night potty run. I couldn’t agree more.

However, the deeper problem is our Human-Snorkie Communication failure.

It worries me fellow doggers. How do I educate my mom on the various nuances of our doggy lingo?

How will she learn that snuffle whine, whine means “Dear Mater and/or Pater, please let me outside. There’s a possum that I need to behead with my teeth.”

And that snuffle, whine, whine, yip means, “My back teeth are floating. Kindly, allow me outside to urinate, please. ”

It’s a dilemma.

I urge all scientists out there to come up with a solution.

Clearly, technology can solve this grave problem.

(Can’t we have an “App” for this?)


Dear Brilliant Scientists,

Please Solve the Snorkie-Human communication gap.

The floor you save may be your own.

Peace Out,

Opie, The Misunderstood Snorkie


About Opie and Opie's Mom

Snorkie with attitude. My mom writes about me and sometimes she lets me write something too. I was rescued July 11, 2010! I am so happy! I love my family and I hate squirrels. I don't know any cats but the neighborhood cats are fun to bark at. Read Opie's Mom's Blog to find out more about me. View all posts by Opie and Opie's Mom

9 responses to “The Species Gap – or Human – Snorkie Communications Failure

  • Chewy

    Glad you had a great thanksgiving!


  • 24 Paws of Love

    Yes, we too have had a couple of those mishaps in the early morning hours. How are we suppose to decipher between that extra yip or yap that means “critter alert” and “I gotta, go, go, go?”

    Thankfully special outing are few and far between, but when you figure it out, let us know!!

    • Opie and Opie's Mom

      Well, I have to say. I’ve been sent outside a few extra time since our little communication gap. Sometimes I didn’t really want to go. I’m not sure I like this “shot gun” approach mom is taking regarding outside time.

  • sagechronicles

    Oh, Opie, it’s not your fault. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do, that’s what I say! I haven’t done that in a looooooong time, but my Toby sometimes goofs up and makes a mess. But Mom says that happens with the geriatric ones of our species sometimes. She just sighs and cleans it up.

    • Opie and Opie's Mom

      Mom sighed to and she’ sniffing the area mysteriously. It seems that some of my product may have gone underneath the dryer. I think Daddy may have to movie it. The house smells very chemically. My hu-brother calls it Fantastik, but I don’t think it’s that great. LOL! Sorry to hear that Toby has the ocassional accident. Hey but it’s nature. And we are all oh so natural. 🙂

  • Bailey

    Glad you had a great Thanksgiving, we did too. Katy in particular has some communication issues around early morning hours and going out, too.

    • Opie and Opie's Mom

      Well, I hope yours are solved soon. I think the trick is to just eliminate the critter menace. All they have to do is let me out one time and I’ll show all those critters whose yard this is. Then they can let me out anytime.
      By the way, I am asking Santa for a Doggie Door.

  • Gloria Kirven

    Hi Opie, I really enjoyed my visit with you. Wasn’t that turkey great? Sorry to hear about your little accident, but get used to the communication problem. It’s sad to say, but humans have trouble communicating with each other, too. Love you – Your Hu-Grandma Gloria

    • Opie and Opie's Mom

      Thanks Grandma! I really love those ear rubs you give. I had some great naps in your lap. You always stay put instead of dumping me on the floor willy nilly. I wish you and Grandpa would come up here and stay permanently, and not just because you could pet sit me all the time, or because Granpa would feed me lots of turkey under the table, or you would give me lots of treats, and belly rubs or that I would really like to chew up grandpa’s hat. ( You know if he leaves it on the floor it’s mine right? ) I’ll see you soon this Christmas and you don’t even have to bring me any cheese! ( chicken is good! )
      Love Opie

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