Hi there Opie here,
I am a long haired Snorkie. I have fine white, wispy and beautiful white and grey hair that covers my entire body. I’ll admit I don’t’ have an undercoat, but this winter my hair came in pretty thick. Mama says it’s my winter coat. Okay, so Mama explain to me why you’ve bought me a Christmas sweater and blue and green sweater and a rain coat and a parka? I’m not a short haired almost hairless doggy, and there is NO snow on the ground where we live. Why do you insist on buying me these things?
Mama: Well, Opie you look so cute in them.
Opie: Cute…that’s why you put me in those sweaters and things because I look CUTE!
Mama: Now Opie, be reasonable. You know it’s mostly for a photo opportunity. I’m not keen on you rolling in the mud in that new green and purple sweater and I tossed the parka. It was too small.
Opie: Mama will you admit that our weather does not really support these….doggy clothes.
Mama: Now listen when I send you out in the AM it is about 40 degrees outside, and a few weeks ago it was colder than that and rainy. I’m not going to apologize for putting you in a rain coat. You have another think coming Mr. Furry Pants.
Opie: Now calm down. I’ll admit that on raining cold mornings a rain coat or a sweater might not be out of line, but will you admit that right now with a high today of 72 a sweater is unnecessary.
Mama: Did I put you in a sweater today?
Opie: No, but…
Mama: Have I put you in a sweater or coat any day that the weather did not call for it. Do you remember this deluge? Do you remember be wet on every part of your little furry body except where the raincoat covered you?
Mama: Do you remember this deluge? The water came up past the sidewalk that day.
You dog paddled during the walk!
Do you remember finding the only dry spot on our lawn – in the overgrown ground cover!
You know why the squirrels weren’t out Opie? Because they DIDN’T HAVE RAIN GEAR!!!!
Mama: And the sweaters — How long do have on these sweaters usually?
Mama: About 4 minutes tops… just enough time to snap several photos using the continuous shooting mode. After that time you start biting it and pulling it off. Are you really busting my chops over these little doggy sweaters – each of which you’ve only worn once?
Mama: Now what brought this on… it was NOT that silly WSJ article on Yahoo. Opie: Well, no…
Mama: Come on out with it…
Opie: Well, it was Charlie.
Mama: Charlie! Who the devil is Charlie?
Opie: Here Mama! This is Charlie and Mavis too.
Mama: Oh I see.
Opie: Mama they had on coats and sweaters at the day care the whole time we were there, and we were indoors. And you can see they have lots of hair. Both of them are Pomeranians.
Mama: Opie I don’t know why their owners sent them to an indoor daycare in coats and sweaters. Maybe they have health issues or maybe … well I did see a lot of dominating going on when I checked in on you. Maybe their owners think that’s some sort of protection? I don’t know what the situation is so I’m not going to say. The back end of that place is open to the outdoors.
Opie: Mama, that is so lame. I just want to be sure that you don’t send me to the daycare place in my sweater or raincoat. Mavis and Charlie stayed on their cots the whole time and never played. I think they were too hot to play. I wanted to play with them!
Mama: Opie I’ll make a deal with you. How about I only put you in those doggy clothes when the weather requires it and maybe for a quick 3-4 minute photo opportunity tops. That includes antler ears and elf hats and that cool little t-shirt I saw on the internet the other day.
Opie: Can’t you Photoshop in the antlers and the elf hat next year?
Mama: Maybe … do we have a deal?
Opie: Okay…Hey Mama maybe I should help Charlie take off his coat next time I go to day care. It does look nice and chewy.