Mom let me write this posting! I wanted to complain about my collar.
I ‘m tired of it. I wear it all the time and it’s noisy!
When I was at the shelter, I didn’t have one. Then the lady from the rescue came and got me she put a collar on me that had this dangly thing on it.
When my mom got me from the rescue lady, she and the boys took me to a big pet store. Gregory and Michael, my human big brothers, picked out a pretty blue collar for me that had waves on it. I don’t know what waves are but that’s what they said it was. It was a Martingale like the black one I had on. They changed my collar right there in the pet store. That day I also got another tag to add to the other one. I was very jingly like Christmas bells.
For a while I really liked that collar. But, I got tired of having it on all the time. I jingled every time I moved.
Scratch my ear. Jingle, jingle! Sit up. Jingle, jingle! Lick my parts. Jingle, jingle.
Dad said I was too noisy so he took the rings off the tags and put all of them on one ring. That made things a little better, but then my license came in the mail. Dad added a THIRD tag to the ring. Mom bought some of those rubber things you can put around the tags and keep them from making a lot of noise. It was very chewy. Mom had to dig it out of my mouth.
Collar too loose
Then Dad said my collar was too loose. He tightened it but it was still really, really loose. I hoped he wouldn’t notice, but he notices everything. He’s the one that picks the stickers out of my chin and pulls stuff out of my paws when I can’t quite get it.
A few days ago Mom got me another collar. She tried to get a smaller blue one like the one the boys picked out. But they were out of them. My new collar is smaller and it’s red with a funny design on it.
I don’t’ think mom likes it though. She says it’s too thin and she’s always rubbing the edges trying to make duller. She’s not happy about how short my hair has gotten right around the edge.
Why do I need a collar at all?
Actually, I don’t see why I need a collar at all. I asked mom and we had a talk about it.
Conversation with Mom as translated from the original Snorkie
Mom: Opie, did you knock the screen out of the bedroom window the other day trying to get that grey cat?”
Me: Well, yes Mama. That cat doesn’t belong in our backyard, and she poops under the swing set and that’s gross and…
Mom: Did you bark at the gas man when he came through the backyard to read the meter?
Me: Yes, and he doesn’t belong in our backyard either. He’s ..
Mom: Opie, did the gas man leave the fence gate open when he came in?
Me: Yes, he did, the ….
Mom: And what would you have done if I hadn’t closed the window?
Me: Jumped out and chased him all the way out of the yard.
“I should mention that I realized that I was about to lose the argument here so I started licking my parts and pretending I wasn’t listening. My human brothers look out the window or play with their game boys when the lecture starts. I don’t have thumbs so I have to make do.”
Mom: Now, Opie, you know we don’t want you to get lost, right? We do our best to keep you safe in the house. We take you off leash in the house and at the dog park and in our backyard. We never take the collar off, because it’s got all your information on it. If you ever got out of the yard and got loss, someone could read your tags and know who you belong to. It’s got all our information on it and if for some reason we didn’t get to you quickly, Randee’s information from Lhasa Home rescue is on it too. You have to have your Culver City License because if animal control gets you before any of us, then they will take you to Culver City’s No Kill shelter.
Do you understand why you have to wear the collar now?
Me: Well why do I need it in the house?
Mom: Are you going to stop jumping out the window and knocking the screen out?
Me: (Lick, lick, lick) Wait! What about the microchip? Hasn’t that got everything on it too.
Mom: Yes, it does little Doggins, but how do we know that whoever gets you will have the little doohickey necessary to read the microchip. The tags are a great back up.
Me: Oh all right.
Mom could tell I was disappointed about not taking off my collar. She gave me an extra long tummy rub and played a long time with me and Hedgie. Later, I got a little piece of breakfast ham too!
I guess I’ll have to endure it. Mom says that if she may buy me a new collar soon. She doesn’t like the red one very much. Oh well, she says it’s this or doggie outfits. She said something about having to indulge her desire to dress me up. What does that mean?
Smell you later,
Your friend Opie