Tag Archives: Snorkie humor

Opie – International Verminator!

Hi fellow Doggers,

My fur brother is going off to Australia for a week. I’m going to miss him horribly.

Worse yet, I think they’ve made a horrible mistake in not letting me go with him.

I did some internet research and they have some pretty strange animals down there in “Oz”. They all seem to be some form of vermin. As you know, as a Snorkie, I hate vermin everywhere, especially international vermin. Obviously, I need to go to “Oz” to guard my hu-brother and whittle down their “squirrelishy” vermin population.

Here are some of the squirrelish creatures that my Gregory may encounter. I hope that he’s prepared.  This vermin looks quite interesting to chase, bark at and sink my teeth into.

This giant squirrel like thing appears to be some sort of double vermin.

If I got to chase it, I’d catch two for the effort of one.

That large tail looks like it might be quite fun to bite. Mama says it’s a Kangaroo. Hmm, I think it would rue the day that it met up with me!

Obviously, this grey thing clinging to the tree is some sort of tailless squirrel. I’m not happy about the size of its claws. However, it is certainly “barkworthy!” Mama says it’s a Koala bear, but it looks very “verminish” to me, not bearish at all. That nose looks like it needs my teeth in it. I’m actually pretty sure I saw something like this at the doggy toy store recently.

Undoubtedly, Australians have let their squirrels get completely out of hand. This one is missing his tail and seems to be horribly over fed. I believe there is a seriously low Snorkie population Down Under. More Snorkies equals less fat tailless squirrels. After I get through cleaning up their little continent, they might give me a medal, or at least some neat Australian treats. If it smells like meat, I’ll eat it. This is a wombat according to Mama. Well, watch out Mr. Wombat, it’s time for your wombat butt wompin’ Opie style!

This is some sort of demented looking cat. I have to say the feral cats in my neighborhood are far more handsome. This guy should be a piece of cake to deal with.  I’d make short work of it. Mama says that I shouldn’t even entertain the idea of tangling with this thing. She says it’s a Tasmanian Devil. She obviously hasn’t heard what the big dogs call me at the dog park — Opie the Terminator. When I get through with this devil it will be singing with the angels!

Now this thing looks really fun to chase. In fact, it looks kind of like a toy I already have. Those ears look like a lot of fun to chew on. I bet I can make it really, squeak.

Mama says that this is a Greater Bilby. Well, Bilby here has delusions of grandeur. I’d say he was definitely “lesser” and I’ll be the greater, probably the greatest Snorkie in the world. I just realized that I could gain International status as a Snorkie Verminator.

I hope Gregory is able to keep himself safe from these weird creatures without me to protect him. I am the official family security expert. I even have a uniform. It seems unwise to send him off to some strange place with strange animals without me his trusty snorkie to protect him.

What is Gregory going to do without me?

Actually, what am I going to do without Gregory?

I heard Daddy say he’ll only be gone for a week. 

 Well, fellow doggers you and I both know this “week” is really a a century in doggy time.  ( Sigh)

I think I’ll go sit with Mama.

She looks like she needs a lick and I know I could use  a pet.


New Years Resolution from a Snorkie Named Opie

Hi Fellow Doggers,


Happy 2012!


It’s traditional for folks in my family to make New Year’s Resolutions!

(Whether they keep them or not is a different story.)

Mom has an interesting view on them.

She makes her resolutions achievable within the first month of the New Year.

I’m going to do the same thing.

So here are my New Year’s Resolutions.

I resolve:

To bark at the postal carrier with even more ferocity

(I must stop that person from coming on my porch! It is an outrage!)

To beg for more treats

(Mom’s got a pork roast in the oven. I resolve to get a nice juicy piece of it!)

To achieve maximum cuteness

(Okay, I’ll admit, that’s really too easy.)

To get MORE toys next Christmas

(I’m busy tearing the head of my new monkey, already ripped the guts out of my new stuffed pig. This is a cinch! )

To get a whole piece of bacon at least once a week when Mama cooks breakfast

I just have to be in the kitchen at the appropriate time. Mom dropped a piece on the floor this AM. I missed it by 3 seconds!)

To guilt the boys and Mama and Daddy into MORE walks

(Already located my leash, I will now drag it around the house!)

To catch that fat squirrel that taunts me.

(Dad got some nuts in his Christmas stocking… Can you say Bait?)

Mama says I shouldn’t make too many. Then they become impossible to manage.

(I think I’ve got this locked!)

Well, those are my resolutions fellow doggers.

Feel free to share yours in your comments on my blog today.

Oh and……